Please excuse my manners. I am not bred for association in decent society. You might have seen me across the road, mooing helplessly or at most times chewing grass. Oh and you might have written your first essay on me. Yes. You got it right I am a cow. And sadly an Indian cow.
Now you might say what is so sad about being an Indian cow. I am worshipped in this country. And this has become my curse. I am dying every moment with the hatred and apathy that the liberals are hurling towards me. If I was born somewhere in the ‘good’ America along with my cousins, I would be slaughtered by now and be on someone’s beef platter. I know I am very tasty. At least they would relish and honor me. It would be much much better than this life of constant insult. It would be better than being eaten by people who just want to make a ‘liberal’ statement.
Okay you have a problem because the some state governments stopped my slaughter. You say why they haven’t stopped slaughter of pigs and goats etc. How selfish you people are. You drink my milk, you flaunt diets based on milk products. You woo your girl/ boyfriend with ice creams made from my milk. And yet you hate me. How selfish you are. You don’t even let go of my shit. You make fuel out of my dung. Now don’t pretend you don’t need it. Rural India does. Okay I will not talk about my urine. Because then you will say I voted for the ruling party. Okay sorry, I know I can’t vote. But my urine has disinfectants, whether you see saffron in it or not.
I know some people would love to relish me. My apologies to them. I know this ban is not permanent. I will go to the slaughter house in time.
But my heart bleeds when you support everyone else. That is not fair. I know I am not as handsome as dogs are. I know I can never be your best friend. And that is why you are keen on dismantling all the cow ranches from cities. And your dogs sit with you, even as you pout with your red lips and post them on social media.
You were in tears when the Yulin festival was on. You did everything in your power to stop the dogs from getting slaughtered. And your eyes light up when I am slaughtered.
You you…. (Sorry I had to wipe my tears) you even have a problem with Gadhimai Festival. My one time suitor the water buffalo is your favourite but not me. And then you love pigeons (they don’t even play messengers anymore), goats and chickens.
You did not say anything when Rabbit slaughter was banned in Kerala. I know you love bunnies on your tee shirts and you love gifting them to people. My bad I am not cute.
Your club, what do you call yourself? PETA. Ah yes. You look around to catch people eating deer and tortoise and what not. It is just me. Good old me who is left out. You even have a cutest cat alive competition…
If I could I would have sung, ‘teri galiyon mein na rakhengey kadam’, but I can’t. I am not you privileged you after all. So with a heavy heart I just say ‘agle janam mohe Indian cow’ na kijo. Then even if I get slaughtered I will live a life free of hypocrisy.
A silly Indian Cow
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